


Falling is Scary

by megzeman



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: 2009 Era (Phandom), 2009 Phan, Established Relationship, First Kiss, First Meetings, Fluff, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-07
Updated: 2019-08-07
Packaged: 2020-08-11 01:55:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,026
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20145646
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/megzeman/pseuds/megzeman
Summary: Dan realizes that he’s falling hard and fast for Phil. His feelings feel too intense for a relationship this new, and it’s a little scary. But it’s also wonderful.





	Falling is Scary

He’d only been in Manchester for two hours and already his cheeks hurt from smiling. The moment he saw Phil waiting for him at the train station, his whole world got brighter. He was no longer nervous, he was no longer self-conscious; he felt safe. 

When Phil went up slightly on his tip toes so that he could hug around Dan’s neck, Dan found that he fit perfectly in Phil’s arms. They didn’t say anything at first, they just took each other in. Dan thought that if Phil would let him, he might just stay there forever. Phil’s arms muted the noise of the busy station. Phil’s flannel reduced the cut of the October chill. Phil’s smell filled his lungs and suddenly every breath was a treat. Phil’s heart was pounding and within seconds, Dan’s heart changed its beat to match his. 

And that was just the first ten seconds. 

All of the time after that had been filled with dumb jokes, warm coffees, and the slightest brushes of fingertips as they walked down the street. “C’mon, I want to show you my favorite view of the city. I’ll show you my favorite park, and that great pizza place I told you about…” Phil grabbed his sleeve and pulled him around the corner. Dan’s eyes slowly worked their way up to the top of the Wheel of Manchester, squinting the higher they got. He dug his heels into the ground and Phil, still holding onto his sleeve, got pulled back towards him slightly. “What?” Phil asked. “You never told me you were afraid of heights.” 

Dan pulled his eyes away from the top of the wheel and settled them on Phil. “I’m not scared exactly, I just don’t love the idea of a bolt coming loose and falling to my death, that’s all.”

Phil moved his hand from his sleeve and gently grabbed his forearm. Dan felt his breathing stutter. “I won’t make you do anything you don’t want to do, but would it make you feel better if I told you that I’ve ridden on this a hundred times and there’s never been an issue?”

Dan’s breathing had recovered, and he was able to blink a few times and say, “Statistically, that means something horrifying is bound to happen sooner or later. But I trust you.” They smiled at each other for a moment, realizing again how weird it was that they were here. Together. Phil slid his hand down to yank Dan’s sleeve again and they began walking towards the wheel. “So, you’ve been on this a hundred times, huh? You know Lester, if you tell me you do this on all of your first dates, I’m going to be massively offended.” 

He looked back and smiled, “Well, I hate to tell you Dan, but you’re just one of many. The 7-hour long Skype calls, the constant texting, inviting you to come to mine from across the country… it’s all just part of the routine.” Dan matched his cheeky smile, and he was glad Phil was pulling him, because he was pretty sure his brain stopped functioning. 

They made their way up to the teller and Phil insisted on paying for Dan’s ticket. They continued to bicker gently as they made their way into the pod. “You already bought me a coffee! And you’re letting me stay with you.”

“Well, you paid for a whole train ticket, so I still owe you. We’re nowhere close to even yet.” Dan smirked privately when Phil turned his back. He liked the idea that they would have time to get even. Eventually, they might not even keep count. When Phil turned around and shut the pod door, the noise of the city was sucked out from the air. 

They were truly alone for the first time since meeting for real. 

They both seemed to realize this at the same time, and they looked at each other awkwardly for a moment. Phil cut the tension by reaching out to grab Dan’s hand to pull them both onto the bench. Well, he tried to cut the tension. The feeling of their hands together for the first time only made the air in the pod seem thicker. The silence got even louder. Breathing got even harder. 

They settled down onto the cold bench and their knees knocked against each other. Emboldened by Phil’s physical gesture, Dan didn’t move his knee away. He looked up at Phil to gauge his reaction and was met with a smile. He exhaled and smiled back. “Hi.”

“Hi.” They just looked at each other for a moment, feeling lucky and young and stupid. Phil opened his mouth to say something when their pod jerked forward. Dan’s eyes flew open wide and he instinctively reached forward and braced himself; one hand on Phil’s shoulder and the other on his knee. Phil reached down to squeeze his hand reassuringly. Dan felt his body relax and he started to laugh. Seeing that Dan was okay, Phil started to laugh too. 

The tension in the pod dissolved and the silence was replaced by laughter. They continued this way until they were about a quarter of the way up the wheel. Phil’s tongue poked out through his teeth in the way that Dan loved. The first time he heard Phil’s real, belly laugh over Skype, he decided that it was his new favorite sound. Now hearing Phil’s laugh without the metallic filter of the Internet, made his chest actually ache with fondness. As they calmed down, Dan realized that the wheel was moving slowly and smoothly. “This isn’t so bad I guess?”

“I told you,” Phil said. “You’re safe and sound with me,” then he gave a big toothless smile and squeezed his eyes shut. 

“I do feel safe with you.” The tension was back. But it wasn’t the awkward “now what” tension from before. It was the realization that they had embarked on something serious, and it was only the beginning. 

Their pod lurched slightly when they reached the top of the wheel. He remembered vaguely that Phil wanted to tell him something about a park and pizza, but he glanced out of the pod and saw the train station. Suddenly, his stomach got heavy. In too few hours, he would be boarding a train at that station to go back to his stupid town with those stupid people. He didn’t have much time. What was he waiting for?

He locked his eyes on Phil’s and brought his hand up to his cheek. Phil leaned into his touch slightly and placed his hand gently on Dan’s lower back. Dan was proper shaking now, but Phil felt like an anchor to him. They leaned in slowly, never taking their eyes of one another. When he felt Phil’s breath ghost over his lips, he closed his eyes and closed the distance. 

His stomach swooped like he had missed a step on the stairs. It was so perfect. Phil’s lips were warm and soft. After a moment, he felt Phil’s lips curl into a smile against his. He wanted more. He pulled Phil’s head closer to his and brought up his other hand to Phil’s soft face. Phil pulled them closer together with the hand he had on Dan’s back. They still weren’t close enough. Maybe they never would be. They moved together like they were designed to do nothing else. Their hearts were pounding so hard that he could feel Phil’s heartbeat through his lips. 

Dan had experienced fireworks, but this was something else. It wasn’t two people coming together, it was two people coming home. He knew in that moment that for the rest of his life he wanted nothing more than to feel like this. He wanted to spend the rest of his life holding Phil and being held by Phil. Laughing with Phil and making Phil laugh. Feeling safe with Phil and making Phil feel safe. Loving Phil…

He pushed away gently and reluctantly. As soon as their lips parted, he had the instinct to move forward and make contact again, but he needed to breathe. He couldn’t force himself to take his hands away from Phil’s face, though. He still needed an anchor. Both of their chests were heaving, and Dan kept his eyes closed. He couldn’t look at Phil right now, he needed to think straight. Phil was not letting him get away with that, though. He reached up one of his hands to grab Dan’s wrist and used the other to gently bring his chin level with his. 

“Hey, are you okay?” Seeing that Dan wasn’t budging, he came forward to rest their foreheads together. “Dan…”

Dan opened his eyes and found comfort in Phil’s closeness. When Dan finally spoke, his voice was quieter and more vulnerable than he intended it to be. “I’m a little scared.” He looked up to see if Phil could understand what he was feeling. 

He had never felt this way before. This wasn’t just admiration for a Youtuber, or infatuation for a crush, or lust for a hook up. The thought of ever letting Phil go was terrifying. The thought of this trip ending was heartbreaking. The thought of he and Phil not being together someday was… He didn’t even want to think about it. He’d never had this much to lose before. He had only been talking to Phil for a few months! They had only met in person two hours ago! He couldn’t possibly be falling in love with this person…

And yet, when he saw Phil smile, and when he felt Phil lean forward a bit more to touch their chilly noses together, he felt relaxed. “I’m a little scared, too.” 

Dan blinked and searched Phil’s eyes. “Really?”

“I’ve never felt this way before. It’s all a little intense.”

Dan’s heart stuttered. This boy is going to give him an arrythmia one of these days. “Intense in a bad way?”

“No, no, no,” Phil reassured him. “Just intense like… whoa.”

Dan’s voice was barely audible now. “I don’t ever want to lose you…”

“Hey, hey,” Phil grabbed Dan’s hands and pulled them away from his face. He squeezed them soothingly. “I’m not going anywhere.”

“I have to be on a stupid train in two days. And after that,” his voice was rising now, “What if something happens? What if we have a fight, or long distance becomes too annoying, or you find out that you hate the music I listen to when I fold laundry, or…”

Phil cut off his ranting with a steadying kiss, and Dan’s eyes fluttered shut. “We have two whole days before you have to leave. There’s plenty of time for you to get sick of me.”

Dan chuckled, “Not likely.”

“Well, I’d say it’s highly unlikely that we’ll ever have a fight big enough to end this, I’ll just endlessly tease you about what I’m sure is your ridiculous laundry folding music, and long distance isn’t forever.”

The thought of them living together one day did give Dan hope, but he still couldn’t shake the feeling that something was too good to be true. “Doesn’t this seem crazy, though? We’ve known each other for less than a year, I mean we just met in person today! How can we be using words like ‘forever’ already?”

Phil shrugged. “When it’s right, it’s right. And this feels right to me.”

Dan thought about the late-night Skype calls where conversation flowed easily for hours. He thought about how sometimes Phil would text him something sweet because he telepathically knew Dan was having a bad day. He thought about how good and safe he felt in Phil’s arms.

“Me too.” They smiled at each other before leaning in for a slow, world stopping kiss. They pulled apart when they felt the wheel come to a stop back on the ground. Phil reached down and squeezed Dan’s hand one final time before they had to face the noise of reality again. The simple action made his heart fly. They may have made it safely down from the wheel, but they had only just begun to fall.

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first fic, but I enjoyed writing it so I may do more in the future? You can always send me prompts if you'd like something specific. Thanks for reading! 
> 
> https://remmixx.tumblr.com/


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